[Book Review] The Sheikh's Virgin Bride (Sheikh's Arabian Nights, #1)by Penny Jordan

Song of the week:

Give Me Your Heart by Backstreet Boys.

Girl give me your love,

I'll give you my heart

Let's put them together see what we can start

I wanna be with you,

You wanna be with me

I wanna be with you...

I had this song on repeat 24/7 for at least 5 days. I was crazy over it. I can finally see the power of BSB now... hahaha. I have such a soft spot for songs with synthesisers <3

Warning: Harlequin novel ahead. Read review at own risk.

This review shall be done on the first book from the left only, but the other two are here to serve as a comparison. Click to enlarge.

There is only one word to describe Harlequin (or at least, the section Harlequin Presents) in general.

Generic. 

The (insert playboy trait/word) (prince/sheikh/king/whatever)'s VIRGIN (stable-girl???/bride/woman/some degrading term for a woman)

But such is the sad truth. You want to read Harlequin novels, be prepared for generic storylines, generic characters and even generic plot twists. (Oh, and don't forget the very generic provocative cover. They come in a package!) 



[Synopsis]

Petra is betrothed -- to the rich, capable and eligible Sheikh Rashid. Being adamantly against the idea of marrying a complete stranger, she plans to ruin her reputation so Rashid won't want her as a bride.
Blaize, a fellow guest at the hotel she resides in, agrees to be Petra's pretend lover -- and though their relationship is supposed to be strictly business, she soon finds herself falling for him....

-----------------

Rating: 1 / 5 

The synopsis provided above is based on the original one provided at goodreads (good website there), but heavily edited to omit the spoilers originally present, and to add redundant stuff. (Lol.)

Honestly though, does it even matter? We all know what will happen even based on my synopsis alone, much less the one from goodreads (I suggest not reading it if you don't want blatant spoilers btw). It doesn't exactly take a genius to guess the plot. Harlequin heroines never, and I mean never, fall out of love once the synopsis deems who her male counterpart will be.

It was about 2-3 years ago when I bought this as an ebook, along with another two named The Bedroom Business [Sandra Marton] and Kiss of a Demon King [Kresley Cole]. All had sexual content (yes, i've been reading stuff like this for more than A WHILE). Unfortunately, this was my least favourite book out of the three, with flat, unlikeable characters and a painfully flimsy plot. At least I liked Jacob McBride from The Bedroom Business better, and that guy was totally made out of clichés.

The story is third-person, limited, meaning we are only limited to Petra's thoughts and feelings. It might as well be written from first person as the only thing we read about 80% of the time is about her, her self-denial, and fickle-minded behaviour. The other 20% goes to setting. Every time Blaize goes missing (and this happens a lot), she gets all insecure, starts to worry about the presence of another woman, and basically bemoans her fate and her life in general.

Sure, I don't mind the very artificial suspense/sense of mystery the author tries to create with him going missing (oh who is he really? Oooooooh), but Petra's response is totally that of a woman that cannot survive without a man by her side twenty-four hours a day. [Note: Twilight] We don't see anything from Blaize's point of view, and well, it's more than frustrating because we don't know what he's thinking or feeling at all.

'If you were a man -- but you aren't, are you?' He demanded, his voice suddenly changing to a soft sneer as he added, 'You aren't even much of a woman... just an over-excited, over-heated virgin, aching with curiosity to know what it's all about. No, don't deny it. It's written all over you -- all over every single one of those big-eyed looks you keep on giving me when you think I don't notice. You're just desperate to find out what sex is, aren't you? Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but you just don't have what it takes to encourage me to let you find out!'

-Blaize, during a heated exchange.

Ouch, that hurt! Way to win a girl's heart, asshole.

I hate Blaize. My head hurts to even wonder how desperate one [Petra] must be to want such an absolute douchebag. He doesn't even alternate between hot and cold -- he simply acts like an asshole throughout the book, perhaps except the very end (last 10 pages?) and during sex. And that obviously cannot redeem how he has treated the woman from the start -- without respect, with thinly veiled condescending remarks everywhere, as if she was inferior to him. I don't mind a witty guy, but not one that uses it to undermine the girl all the time.

Helloo, not only is this extremely sexist, these are signs of an abusive relationship. Our supposedly highly-educated Petra evidently cannot tell this fact because she's too busy looking at his face and inhaling his scent all the time.

Petra, on the other hand, is hollow in the head. Just because a man is bursting with 'rogue male testosterone', looks like a Greek god, and is a great guy to kiss/have sex with does not mean he is a good candidate to fall in love with. (But with that being said, he'd still make a good fling. For one, I wouldn't mind, anyway.)

It is mentioned a few times that she is mature, strong-headed and stubborn, yadda yadda yadda. Something like that. I can almost accuse our narrator of being an unreliable one because the way Petra acts is the opposite of what she is supposed to be like. She has many internal conflicts within herself, and though she tries to convince herself she is strong (or something, I can't tell either), she isn't. A lot of evidence in the novel points towards her having an inferiority complex -- severe insecurity, fear and intense jealousy with concern to other women. And it's rather obvious she's very childish -- she's whiny, she throws tantrums, she blames everyone but herself, jumps to conclusions, the list goes on. <childish vs childlike>


... but it seemed that her body didn't want to waste a moment of the time it could have with Blaize in sleep when she could be awake, watching him, touching him... loving him.
There -- she had acknowledged her love! Admitted it! Accepted it?
She closed her eyes, testing the words inside her head. I love him. I love Blaize.
Yes, it was true. She could tell that from the way her whole being responded to the inner vibration of the words. She loved him! She loved Blaize.

-the stupidity known as Petra, in a self-confession


I mentioned once in another post that this book was very cringeworthy (in the literal sense). I cringed every single time they had a sexual encounter. I cringed when they had the heart-to-heart deep confession about loving each other and shit. I couldn't feel any sexual tension. I was horrified when I read the sex scenes. And every single time they kiss, or after they did it, he says, this should not have happened. 
Go to hell. If you knew it shouldn't have happened, then learn to have some self-discipline. And for her, she is basically throwing herself at him throughout the novel. She goes to his bedroom to 'apologise' after the fight, and they end up doing it. Hellooo, you should know man + virgin + bad sexual tension = _____ , right?

There is no character development throughout the story. Petra doesn't improve at all -- more like deteriorate instead, from the supposedly strong character at the start into a spineless crybaby at the end. Blaize doesn't get better in terms of attitude either, probably except in the last 10 pages where his personality does a 180 degrees turn. The other characters were flat from the start, and never had much role to play in the story, maybe except Petra's grandfather -- but that was clichéd too, and his character was really nothing special.

Petra winds up having to marry Rashid anyway in the end (it doesn't take a genius to know who he is by now even without reading the book) based simply on the fact that they have been seen together in an intimate position by some important Prince.
Helloooo, what age and time are we living in? I just don't see how that is a plausible reason to marry another in the modern age. Reputation? That belongs in a historical novel.

All in all, this book was bad. A mediocre book would have me feeling nothing much for the protagonists, but the problem here is, I hate them. I can't understand their motivations either, nor can I relate. Etcetera.

One star for the descriptions of how grand and sophisticated the hotel they were at was. It did help me form a better impression of the setting and I could imagine the characters in them. That's all. I couldn't picture Petra's face at all though, no matter how hard I tried... as for Blaize, it was the generic handsome guy you see on covers that I saw.

I guess you've had enough of reading my rants (I'm tired too, lol). Finally! I'll be staying away from any Penny Jordan books for at least a while before I muster up the courage to buy another Harlequin. My next book review will be probably that of The Bedroom Business by Sandra Marton (another Harlequin), and though it's not special in any way either, compared to this book, it's really much better... hahaha...

- The Guava (ho ho ho!) :D